its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
