Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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