ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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