You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
