It's Friday. Sex?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
