then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
