i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
