Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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