A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
