and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
