Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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