did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
