The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
