She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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