so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Are we still banned from the library?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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