did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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