thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
