Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
