girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
