you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
