So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
