At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.