Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(719): View more from Colorado

Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.

Fav 25 7608 1809
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.

Fav 9 4100 1151
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.

Fav 5 3366 1164
share tweet
(705): View more from Ontario

And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab

Fav 9 2057 1013
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(469): View more from Texas

I can feel my moral fiber fraying.

Fav 2 1595 874
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.

Fav 8 1877 883
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have

Fav 1 1065 577
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"

(248): View more from Michigan

It was 11pm.

Fav 0 786 540
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.

Fav 2 100 75
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT