he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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