And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
