Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Cover your peen. We're going out.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
