but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize