just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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