Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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