D3 body, D1 cock
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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