You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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