why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
