Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you had me at cake vodka
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
