i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
