It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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