Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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