please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's always time for handjobs
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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