you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
