Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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