Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
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remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
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I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize