My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
