I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize