somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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