I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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