tell your sister to shave her snatch
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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