He is an equal opportunity slut.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
