I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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