How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
this hospital has no fireball
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
