But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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