I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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