how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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