just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize