I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
