Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
