I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
