I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
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mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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