you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
