Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
