super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
