Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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