Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
