Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
