Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
