problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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