What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
